"What we imagine as order is merely the prevailing form of chaos."

Last night after visiting my dad in the hospital while he was in recovery David, 'Cesca, Blayze & I decided to BBQ. The night started off rather uneventful, just watching movies & hanging out. Up until David started drinking and announced his ex gf was coming over to hang out. I'm rather insecure as it is, and he speaks highly of this girl so I view her as a threat... however I wasn't given much choice in the matter and shortly thereafter she showed up with one of her friends... it's awkward as hell and her friend is a bitch. To which Ces is getting upset and waiting for them to say something stupid. I got Blayze to lay down and then I went back downstairs to tell David I'd like to go home... & a fight ensues.. I have no clue what I did to trigger it and he was saying it's always his fault, I didn't even know we were fighting until he was saying peace out to me, he didn't want to leave & was staying there. He needs to understand I have responsibilities & even though Blayze was asleep that he should be in his bed. I finally got him into the truck and we argued the entire way home, he was saying he's gonna sleep on the floor etc. We drop of Ces and head home, finally got there and he gets Blayze out of the truck... not even 5 minutes into the house he's apologizing, telling me I need to leave him alone when he's upset and kissing me... Needless to say I was extremely confused. I go to bed and Blayze and him make some late night snack and he gets Blayze ready for bed... I get woken up, make your own assumptions as to what happens then.

& he says I have mood swings lol

“I dropped a tear in the ocean, and whenever they find it I'll stop loving you, only then.”

Went to San Diego to see my friend 'Cesca's mom, haven't seen her since high school. Got to go to the beach as well... it was a nice mini vacation

La Jolla Cove/Seal Beach & Coronado Beach

only one seal on seal beach =/ 

"One must desire something to be alive"

Dad went in for surgery on his heart today... everything is so chaotic right now. Feels like everything is falling apart... and I did want to write, but now I've lost the drive to do so. oh well.

Seems like every time we make a step forward we take three steps back... just wish it all would end and start making sense.